Wednesday, March 5, 2014

17 Ft Worth

How any traveller can think about Fort Worth's Water Gardens
and not mention Jenny Agutter is past me.

Jenny Agutter starred in the film "Logan's Run."

Logan's Run final scenes were shot in the Fort Worth Water Gardens. They featured as the now dated futuristic spot where the escapees popped up from when scarpering from an early death and wanted to play with Peter Ustinov's beard.

Logan's Run is actually a pretty shite movie that, unlike Bladerunner, does not stand up to the passing of time. Logan's Run is proof that nothing dates faster than a cheap vision of the future. Apart from two or three scenes it is best left alone. Jenny Agutter, however, is a goddess, and given half a chance I would never ever leave her alone.

Jenny wore a fabulous flowing mini skirt thing in most of the scenes in Logan's Run. Seeing that I'm a curvy hip and firm thigh man myself, that skirt thing and more to the point, Jenny in that skirt thing, did it for me. Big time. (For more than a few years my memory incorrectly had Jenny occasionally wearing in a white trouser suit, more akin to the kit the lasses wore in Battlestar Gallactica. I have no idea why that happened, but it was fine while it did.)

I couldn't stop thinking about Jenny when I visited the Fort Worth Water Gardens. Being sixteen years old may have had something to do with it.

From that moment of standing and "just being" in a revered urban waterscape movie set, yes, from that moment on, movie locations and movie actress lasses and movie actor boys in those locations have often crept into my travel place appreciation.

Jenny in Logan's Run and Jenny in Fort Worth's Water Gardens was my movie location cherry.

"The Railway Children" (1970) EMI.
“Logan's Run” (1976) Metro Goldwyn Mayer.
“Equus” (1977) 20th Century Fox.
"An American Werewolf in London” (1981) MCA.

There. An Agutter Quadtich.

The quadtich starts with Jenny waving her raunchy red lingerie at the train in the Railway Children. That poked me to take a look at the London Underground Transport Museum at Convent Garden in a complete different light. Rising above the ethical issues I can forgive Jen for that on screen partial striptease as Jen was missing her dad in the great war and Jen may have been, understandably, rather emotional.

Then that outfit, as I might have mentioned, worn in Logan's Run (shudder, shudder).
Hot on the hoofs of those two, a mind blowing grapple on the stable floor in Equus. I would like to believe it was that Richard Burton that led Jen astray in this public display of affection, but in hindsight I doubt it. Equus, or rather the jodhpured blokes and ladies in Equus, set me off with ideas for horse riding along sandy beaches in South Wales.

The finale, the Oscar nomination for my golden envelope, my "soft focus serial Jenny fantasy" culminated when she was an out of uniform nurse and performing a shower performance in American Werewolf in London.  (...I am trying not to write like a geek, but that flat is on Coleherne Road, Earl's Court. I'm not giving you the number because that would make me sound like a geek pervert stalker. Oh okay. The number was 64. Don't ask how I know.)

Looking back on all this celluloid, I realise that Jenny's regard for garments was about as lax as Meryl Streep's regard was for husbands. (Meryl's always getting divorced on screen, or having it off on the sly. She is! Bridges of Madison County, Out of Africa, Falling in Love, Kramer versus Kramer - she left her son, so don't start me off. Tart.)

And a quick word of warning for Jenny... Dame Helen Mirren may have got away with dropping her kit in many a film, but Dame Helen Mirren has since realised her dodgy ways. Last I saw Helen she was winning an Oscar for a leading role in "The Queen" where she most definitely kept her tights on her thighs.

Jen, show some consideration for your true loyal traveling fans. We don't need all and sundry cashing in on your fine hips. If you spiral down the neakid Dame Helen immoral Meryl route I won't be able to control my camera shake at the Fort Worth Water Gardens should I ever return.

- - - - -

A friend, Jennifer Compton, sent me this poem after she'd passed the above to one of her pupils. It's how the professionals write their sense of place and shows why delighted folk say, "that's sheer bloody poetry, is that, mate."

Send Me Jenny Agutter
by Peter Kocan

Dear Matchmaking Powers up above,
It’s not for me to meddle in your plan,
Or try to tell you who I’m meant to have,
But send me Jenny Agutter if you can.

It was in The Railway Children long ago
She first aroused my tenderness of heart.
Then Walkabout offered a glimpse or two
That aroused me in quite another part.

But Equus was the clincher, I would say:
That so gorgeous and intelligent a girl
Could be so sweet to such a misfit boy
Set all my deepest feelings in a whirl.

The proof that her tolerance ran deep
Was clear when American Werewolf came.
You could even be a howling lycanthrope
And she would stay your girlfriend all the same.

I’m not exactly youthful any more,
So if you think of granting my request
Remember that there isn’t time to spare
And a speedy delivery would be best.

So I bring this petition to a close
With just a final point before I’m done.
Be great if you could send her to me please
In the green tunic straight from Logan’s Run.

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